Preschool
Over 80 per cent of all children between the ages of one and five have a place in child care and the vast majority have a place at a preschool.
The child’s comfort and well-being at preschool includes aspects such as sleeping, eating, and playing at the preschool, after the acclimatisation has been completed. Children must also have one or more person among the staff and the children to whom they can turn and who makes them feel safe and loved. Other characteristics that indicate a preschool that is working well include the fact that the group of children is not too large and staff seem to enjoy their work and stay in the job so that the child avoids having to connect to new people often. Children must feel safe and comfortable at a preschool. Your gut feeling when you visit is the best indication of quality. You should feel as though you’d like to stay for a while.
Of course it’s also a good thing if you can make sure that the child doesn’t need to spend too long a day at the preschool when he or she is under four. But for children with long days, preschools that work well make sure that early mornings and late afternoons are quiet and peaceful. There are often fewer children at those times and it’s possible to read a book or engage in other quiet activities.
The relationship with the staff
Most teachers welcome feedback on what people think is good and bad. Tell them about your child and ask questions about his or her day. You’re welcome to accompany your child at the preschool on the occasional day. That’s the best way of really getting to know what goes on, the staff and the other children. A child won’t be confused by the fact that you’re accompanying them one day because you explain that it’s an exception. Also, show the staff what kind of information you expect to be given and would appreciate.
Dropping off and picking up
It’s a good idea to have a routine when dropping off and picking up your child. The staff will receive the child and make him or her feel welcome. Depending on the child, the preschool and what time you arrive in the morning, you must then decide whether or not to adopt a routine of staying for a while or leaving immediately. For many people, it’s most convenient to have a short dropping off routine in which you hug and wave to each other in one or more places. The purpose of the routine is to help the child with the transition from being at home with you to being in the preschool environment. You must therefore be careful to say goodbye clearly. It doesn’t help the child if you transmit doubt and hang around. If you feel unsure, you can accompany the child for a few hours on another occasion or for a full day or you can have a talk with the teachers and reach an agreement on how they can make your child feel more comfortable.
Many children are happy when you pick them up in the afternoon, though it is just as common for children to collapse, crying and screaming. It can feel as though the child’s spine dissolves in the overall when he or she catches sight of you. Suddenly it’s as though the child’s body goes completely limp. This is a response to the fact that the child tightens up a little during a day at preschool. He or she has to manage to obey social rules and get on with the other children. When the parent comes, the child lets go and becomes a young child inside and expects you, the parent, to take over all responsibility. In most cases, the child stops playing up on the way home. The child may perhaps need a snack to help him or her manage the transition. If the child gets very petulant and it’s difficult to get him or her to go with you, you can ask the staff to get the child ready or make sure that he or she is dressed.
If the child plays up too much or is tired and unhappy in the afternoon, you need to consider whether the child may be spending too long a day at preschool and is over-tired. Perhaps the child may need a longer nap during the day or to go to bed earlier in the evening? Also, instead of finding exciting activities after preschool, such as going to the park or stressing over advanced cooking, you could give your child an opportunity to be close to you and do something peacefully together. Perhaps look at a book, cuddle on the sofa or listen to music. You will usually notice how the child unwinds and relaxes.
Children who are not having a good time
If a child is consistently unwilling to go to preschool or is unhappy, missing you or is inhibited there, you need to do something about the situation. A child can’t spend his or her daytimes like that! The first step is to have a meeting with the staff and discuss what you can do together to make things easier.
Perhaps you need to carry out a new acclimatisation so the child begins to connect with someone specific on the staff. Perhaps the child needs help to start playing with some of the children. Is there a problem with food or sleep that makes it difficult for the child to feel comfortable? Agree on concrete changes and check how things are going after a couple of weeks.
You have to experience what it’s like for the child at the preschool before you can help the child feel more comfortable. Sometimes you think the child’s inability to get on is due to the fact that you, the parent, are stressed or worried. But that is seldom the case. Don’t listen to anyone who suggests that you, the parent, are causing the child’s inability to get on through your approach, concern, attitude or any problems in the family. A child’s inability to get on is more often due to conditions at the preschool itself. That’s where you have to find solutions and change anything that isn’t working.
The teachers at preschool are trained to help children feel comfortable and develop. It’s natural for parents of unhappy children to doubt the preschool, lose confidence in the staff and consider changing preschools. If you really are worried and feel that the child isn’t having a good time, then that will be because you know the child and are sensitive to him or her. Feel free to accompany your child at the preschool one day, have regular meetings with the staff and don’t hesitate to put your foot down and change preschools if the situation doesn’t change.
