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Language and Communication

Text by Malin Bergström, child psychologist and senior lecturer

The visit to the BVC at the age of three focuses on the child’s communication and linguistic development. The child’s communication, along with other aspects of the child’s development, is followed up at the BVC when the child is four years old.

It’s important to the child to be able to make him or herself understood, both within the family and with friends. The child’s language and communication is about the child being able to express him or herself and also understanding what others say and want. It’s important to identify any difficulties that the child may have because he or she may need help and support.

There is a considerable difference in how much a child speaks and understands according to his or her age. Some children are verbal at an early age and find words and talking exciting. Others are keener to learn to climb high and jump long distances. With some children, the parent may be unsure — how much does he or she actually understand? And why is the he or she so quiet? The most common type of delayed development as far as language is concerned is when a child is unable to make a particular sound, changes a sound or changes the word order. The child may perhaps talk about the “jöken” or “löken” [instead of “röken” (smoke) — Translator] given off by a fire because the “r” sound is still too difficult for him or her to say. But delayed development or difficulty with language can also apply to aspects other than pronunciation. Perhaps the child has difficulties with grammar or with understanding what the other person is saying. Difficulties with social interaction also affect the child’s language. If you’re worried about your child’s language development, you can mention it to the BHV nurse.

At the age of three, children usually:

At the age of four, children usually:

Language

Children’s language development is associated with the maturity of speech organs such as the mouth, the throat and the muscles of the face. The child needs to practise talking to be able to talk in a flexible way. The ability to draw conclusions about what things are called and how language is constructed is based on the level of maturity of the brain. Children learn language by imitating, looking for logical patterns, categorising, making assumptions about probabilities and drawing conclusions on the basis of their experience.

This development is individual, just like any other. Some three year-olds still find it difficult to understand and they express themselves sparingly, perhaps with single words or gestures. Others can say as many as 900 words, speak in long sentences and can politely tell us what they’re called — both the Christian name and the surname. By the age of four, many can use long sentences linked by connecting words such “and” and “for”. When their language has loosened up, many children like to tell endless stories and use their language to have fun and joke with one another. Pee and poo words can be the funniest things in the world. The child may perhaps also be interested in words and want to know what they mean.

At this age, some children can describe both concrete phenomena and things they see or want as well as things inside them such as thoughts and emotions. That ability can help the parents feel that they’re getting to know the child on a deeper level. At some point around the age of three, some children begin to understand and express the concept of time in words such as “yesterday” and “tomorrow” and have a sense of the relationship between words like “on”, “under”, “over” and “behind”. Some three year-olds can already count to ten and can identify several colours. Perhaps the child can also say “he”, “she” and “it” and get it right, at least sometimes. At the age of four, many children can talk about the most diverse things so it’s actually possible to sit and talk to one another. The child may be able to describe both what he or she thinks and feels. When the child is telling stories, imagination and reality may still be a bit mixed, so the story becomes particularly interesting. At some point after the age of four, the child’s linguistic ability becomes so advanced that the child can express the same thing in several different ways and use more sophisticated grammar. Then, if you don’t immediately understand when the child describes how Vera chased him, he can clarify by inverting it: “I was chased by Vera!”.

The ability to understand words precedes the ability to express oneself by an average of five months. Only when you have assimilated what a word means can you then try using it yourself. And it’s not always completely correct! Many three year-olds understand what you say to them, even if your reasoning and requests involve several stages. Perhaps the child follows your reasoning when you explain that you have to go shopping after preschool and then go home and watch children’s programmes for a while. By the age of four, children often understand most of what is said to them. When they don’t follow what adults are talking about to one another, the child may want to be included and understand. Sometimes they ask the meaning of words you’d rather not explain.

Many children who are just getting started with talking never stop talking. It’s almost as though they want to make things real by putting everything into words. The never-ending stories help them put things together: what, when, how and in what way, and help them understand themselves, their lives and their experiences. A lot of them describe things in a very meandering way and parents don’t always follow everything (and anyone who doesn’t know the child well even less so). But, from the child’s point of view, it’s helpful to let your imagination fill in the gaps in the story.

Many children are also very inquiring. Your child might ask “why” in response to most things you talk about. And if you can’t really explain why the sky is blue, the child may perhaps pass on to another favourite question such as “what?” or “who?”.

During the visit to the BVC at the age of three, the nurse will have a conversation with the child on the basis of pictures of everyday objects. The conversation provides information on whether the child is able to name the objects in the pictures and also whether the child can understand what the nurse says when, for example, he or she asks the child to choose a picture on a particular subject.

At the age of four, the nurse listens to the child’s ability to express him or herself in all situations. When the nurse plans the visit with the child with the aid of pictures of a train with carriages, the nurse is observing the child’s ability to express him or herself and to understand the nurse’s instructions. Even during the hearing test and the vision test, the nurse is assessing the child’s ability to understand what the nurse wants him or her to do.

Communication

Children’s language is developed by the desire to communicate. That desire is stronger than the desire for it to sound perfect when you say something. Children are often inventive and they test out and take short cuts in order to find how to formulate things so that others can understand. If a word doesn’t work, the child will perhaps make a gesture or use a word that is at least similar to what he or she wants to say.

But words or grammar are only a part of the child’s development in terms of communication. Conversations and play are also about listening to and understanding other people, takings turns when we talk, eye contact and interpreting another person’s feelings and wishes.

During the visit to the BVC, the nurse communicates with the child by observing how the child answers, what the child asks about, what the child is interested in and how the child communicates using eye contact, facial expressions and body language.

Communication between children and parents

As a parent, you have an obvious role in a child’s language learning. By talking to the child about what you experience together, you are providing the child with both language and training in social communication. Because a parent knows his or her child best, you talk and respond to the child at the right level. You can stimulate the child by asking him or her to tell a story and helping to develop the story through questions and small interjections of your own.

When we speak directly to the child, his or her language and communication is developed. Listening to other people talking has nothing like the same importance for the child. With most children this happens by itself. This may be a bit tricky with children who are difficult to read or who have difficulties expressing themselves. If, as a parent, you feel unsure about this, you can discuss it with the BHV nurse. Perhaps the nurse or the person the nurse refers you to can help you and your child.

This is how to support your child’s language and communication

Multilingualism

Learning multiple languages at the same time is really nothing out of the ordinary, but is instead the norm for most children in the world. Approximately one in four children in Sweden is multilingual. Multilingualism is nothing to worry about as a parent. It’s a gift. The child acquires multiple languages during the period when he or she is most receptive and the awareness of the fact that there are several words for the same thing favours the child’s abstract and symbolic thinking.

The development of language in multilingual children in principle follows the same path as in monolingual children. The different languages can dominate at different times and it is common for children to sometimes mix their languages. Before the age of three, most children are unaware that they are hearing and speaking different languages. When they discover it, they can usually differentiate their languages. Language is a perishable product and needs nutrition so as not to disappear. It’s therefore a good idea for parents to consistently speak to the child in their native language. This is also a good idea for psychological reasons because you automatically have nursery rhymes, children’s words and baby talk in your native language.

If a parent speaks multiple languages, it can feel awkward to be consistent at all times. It’s best if you keep to your own language for the first few years. Later, you can take advantage of the child’s knowledge that he or she speaks several languages and have special moments when you speak a particular language. You can also help children by translating important words to their native language when you talk about new things.

If the child answers in Swedish, it’s a good idea to carry on speaking your own language regardless. You shouldn’t tell the child off or force him or her to speak a particular language. If you continue to speak to the child in your native language, it will serve to maintain that language for the child. At the same time, you avoid power struggles. And, during that period, the child receives language stimulation and expands his or her passive vocabulary. Since children use and learn different words at preschool and at home, it’s a good idea for the child to also receive support in its native language at preschool. Language development may be delayed in children who have been adopted and have therefore changed their language completely. For children who are a little delayed in their development, speaking multiple languages in parallel can also be complicated. The child may then choose to speak all the time in one of the languages he or she is surrounded by.

Stammering

At some point during the ages of 2–4, many children go through a period of stammering or lack of fluency in their speech. In most cases, the child just stumbles on words and it goes away by itself. The stammering can take the form of the child stopping or getting stuck on certain sounds as in co-co-co-come, sticking and repeating words, inserting hesitation noises such as “er” or “mm”, extending certain letters as in s-s-s-stop or speech being completely blocked.

Often the stammering occurs at the beginning of a word or sentence. For most children, these snags go away by themselves. It’s estimated that between five and ten per cent of all children have problems of this kind when they learn to speak. In adults, stammering is much less common. Approximately one per cent of all adults stammer — predominantly men. If the child tightens up or seems troubled when it comes to talking or if his or her speech catches completely or the stammering occurs often or gets worse, then it may be beneficial for the child to have contact with a speech therapist. The BVC can arrange that contact.

We don’t know the exact cause of stammering, but we think it has to do with the brain’s signals to the muscles used during speech. In a person who doesn’t stammer, for example, the speech motor function is controlled by the left side of the brain, whereas in people who stammer, it’s controlled by both sides of the brain. Perhaps that affects the signals, making them less accurate and smooth. We also believe that temporary stammering when the child learns to speak is connected to the development of the brain.

Stammering is never triggered by how a parent acts or speaks to the child. Stammering has nothing to do with what the child is like as a person. It’s not anxious children or children who want to do the right thing who stammer. Nor is it due to the fact that the child has been frightened or has been “infected” by a friend or sibling. If your child stammers for a period of time, you can support the child by slowing down yourself when you speak, arranging cosy times to talk together, for example when you read stories in the evenings and by allowing the child to finish speaking, even if he or she stutters, without taking over and filling in.