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Children, Parents and Media

Text by Malin Bergström, child psychologist and senior lecturer

Life in front of a screen is a natural part of a modern childhood. As parents, you need to help your child regulate both the scope and the content of his or her screen time.

Nowadays, the difference between being on-line and being off-line has almost been eliminated. As early as when they are newborns, children learn that parents’ eyes are sometimes fixed on the mobile. Your pride at how your baby, with its chubby fingers, can swipe the screen is just as obvious as your arguments with the child over the tablet. The tablet contains an infinite amount that is instructive and fun for children, but it also contains things that may seem frightening or cause conflict when the device is switched off or is taken away from the small person. Children naturally like to have more of the fun part.

To guide children towards a sensible use of media is as important a task for parents as bringing them up to have good eating habits or road sense. In order to understand and gradually develop a critical approach to the information children encounter, both outside and on screens, they need to share their experiences with adults.

Because of their extensive development during the first years of life, varied stimuli are particularly important for small children.

Share, guide, limit

Children need parents to enable them to:

Share

Guide

Limit

Media in daily life

Screens are today’s toys for both children and adults. They replace many functions such as pens, paper, maps, cameras, music players and torches. Children need to share their experiences with adults in order to interpret and understand them. Participation of this kind enables children to put their experiences into words and develop their language. The media activity that children and parents engage in most together is watching films and TV, though playing games and playing on the tablet together is also common. In the same way as you choose books and read them to your children, you can choose and share the child’s digital experiences. Doing things on the screen together is a good way of relaxing and enjoying yourselves. That closeness also forms a basis for greater trust and insight into the child’s media activities. Because the child is exposed to every possible kind of information on the screen, your participation and involvement forms an important protection for the child. If, for example, the child gets to see unpleasant images on the Internet, it’s important for him or her to have an adult to turn to.

Nowadays, around half of all four year-olds in Stockholm spend at least one hour a day in front of a screen. It’s important for children get support with what happens during that period. Youtube is a favourite for many children. There is a great deal that is both exciting and instructive. But Youtube also contains a lot of things that are inappropriate and frightening for children. It’s certainly a good idea for parents to be part of children’s on-line play at pre-school age. But it’s also important to teach them to be critical and careful and to seek help from adults. By the age of four, it’s already possible to start talking to children about what they should be careful of, how to be polite to others but also maintain their boundaries. People can pretend to be something they’re not on-line. Teach the child that he or she must always come to you with any questions or if anything unpleasant happens. Show the child that you’re listening, that you’re interested and that you can take in what the child is telling you. Punishing, becoming very worried or taking the tablet away as a reaction to what the child is telling you may make the child stop telling you things.

What is an appropriate length of time in front of a screen for children of different ages?

It’s difficult to give general advice on a child’s screen time. Playing with the tablet or playing video games with parents and siblings isn’t the same as relaxing in front of a film. For some children, activities on the screen are particularly attractive. The screen may be much more attractive to a child who finds the preschool environment noisy or who finds the social demands at the preschool difficult to understand and cope with than for an extrovert child who needs a great deal of movement and direct interaction. We need to be responsive to the needs of the child to ensure that he or she receives encouragement to practice what is difficult, such as social interaction, and is able to relax with activities that he or she finds easy.

Guidance and setting limits

Because the screen is accessible and immersive, children need support from adults to also choose other activities. Children are just as vulnerable in front of the screen as they are when crossing the road. Adult guidance is needed both to regulate the content and the duration of use. Having fixed rules about screen time can make things easier in families where conflicts arise over screens. The rules may mean imposing a particular maximum length of time per day or avoiding screens at certain times. Some families choose to have a set screen-free day or days each week. Zones in the home can also be kept screen-free, such as the dining table at mealtimes or the children’s room. Switching off screens (the TV for example) that no one is watching encourages communication in the family. Screen play can also be used as a reward when the child has done something you like. If you find that the child is fixated on screen activities, it can make things easier if you completely avoid screens for a period of time and actively help the child choose alternative activities.